We stand in awe
by someotherme
Summary: At 8 years old, Rachel Berry had the world at her feet. Shining lights, broadway tunes, surrounded with the dizzying sound of applause, her dreams were reality. Well, almost.
1. It's only just begun

At 8 years old, Rachel Berry had the world at her feet. Shining lights, broadway tunes, surrounded with the dizzying sound of applause, her dreams were reality. Well, almost. The shining lights came from her lit up mirror, broadway tunes came from the hand me down CD player and the sound of applause echoed from her doorway, where stood were the only people she needed in her life. Her mother and her Sister were her shining stars. Her mother, Katherine was an ex director, she'd produced some of the most now Broadway shows. The Broadway gene seemed to have passed down not only to her but her sister Shelby also, at 23 her sister was doing everything Rachel dreamed of doing. Starring in the hit musical RENT, Shelby now dubbed Corcoran was the next hot thing, she had the lights, the broadway tunes and the mass applause 8 times a week. Blowing out a whistle, Katherine takes a stride towards her daughter, clapping her hands together in complete awe.

"Well hot dog, you'll be over taking your sister in no time." The older woman chuckles, drawing the small girl into her arms. Rachel leans her head against the soft material of her mother, letting a giggle escape her lips.

"There's no doubt in that." The older brunette concludes, having wiped the tear that had fallen from the corner of her eye, before another soul could see. "As long as i get my Tony before her though."

Rachel perks up at the words spoken, detangling herself from her mother. "Well, I have planned to have my first Tony **before** i'm 22 and then my second at 25...So.. you've got some time." She grins up at her sister. "But then saying that, someone might see my potential early on and most probably have me star in a hit show and then you'll stand no chance in having a Tony before I."

Shelby and Katherine burst out in laughter, shaking their head in amusement as they make their way to the living room. "Keep thinking that way, kid, and you'll get there."

"Oh, i will." Rachel nodded in confidence to her mother, hand on her chest in the most dramatic way.

"Mmmm.." Shelby hummed softly, raising her brows at the girl. "But more importantly have you got any idea's on what you want to do for your birthday?" The singer asked, tiptoeing around her mother gracefully so she could sneak a cookie off the side, only to receive a swat to her behind and the cookie back on the plate. It was December 16th and the little girl has already sent out birthday invitations to her friends to invite them for a party, but her sister had promised her a day out for just them. Now, with Rachel being Rachel, the girl had drawn up plans, searched the web for what was closest and has everything sorted out.

Rachel nodded her head excitedly, hopping slightly before dashing off to go and get said plans. She darted back down the stairs, sliding on the wooden floors of the kitchen with her fluffily socks before laying the plans before her sister.

"So, i was thinking, as it's cold and i have to protect my vocal cords, that we could first go to that coffee shop off the end of the block and then we could go see a show? Please, you promised!" The bouncing brunette was practically whining at this stage, her hands in front of her chest as she looked at her sister with orbs of molten chocolate.

Shelby could feel her inside's melt, something inside her weep ever so slightly. "Hey, hey, slow down, chick. Have you chosen which show you wanted to see?"

Rachel huffed in an exhausted manner, flopping onto the side couch, limps spread off the side. "There are just so many! But Matilda is meant to be the best this season..."

Shelby rolled her eyes at the small brunette, propping her head up in her hand and levelling at look at Rachel. "Rach, would you like me to see if they have any seats for Matilda? But if you wanted to see something else that's not..."

"No! Oh my god, could you get tickets? Would you? That would be ozmifying! Oh, could you? _Pleaseee_?" The small girl bounced over to her sister, her hands on either side of Shelby's face as Rachel directed her speech towards her sister.

The elder brunette scooped Rachel into her arms, tickling her ribs as she blew raspberries on the girl's neck. "I'm gunna pee! Stop! I'm gunna peeeee! Stop, please! Please! Uncle! I call uncle!" Rachel screamed in delight.

Shelby tilted her head back in a full bellied laugh as she settled the girl back on her feet. "I'll call up Cassandra and see what i can do, kiddo." The brunette grinned, rubbing the top of Rachel's head, causing the girl to scowl and straighten out her hair.

* * *

Katherine had been watching the whole scene play before her with her jaw set. Quickly excusing herself from the room, she left without another word. Hoping the thickness in her voice went unnoticed by both her girls.

Shelby had promised. She'd promised all those years ago.

Rachel was still a little girl, she was so precious, a tiny flower in a rose garden. But recently, with Shelby's success, her eldest daughter had started to loose her path, she'd started to grow bolder, sort her life out and was truly blossoming in womanhood.

Rachel was just about to start a new school and the very least she needed was Shelby poking a hot stick at her. Katherine didn't know what her eldest's plan was, but she knew Shelby well enough to know, there was indeed 'a plan'.

She'd have to talk to Shelby tonight.

* * *

After a few pleasing conversations to her manager and best friend, Shelby Corcoran had secured two seats to an afternoon show in the front row, saying her thanks she hung up the phone and went to break the news to Rachel. The girl had practically burst her ear drums, winding her in a hug just before rushing off to get changed, claiming 'how unfair it was that she only had 4 hours to get ready'.

Shelby pinched the bridge of her nose, the corner of her mouth curled into a gentle smile. She herself, made her way to her own room, stripping off her tracksuit, standing in front of the full length mirror. Her fingers dancing over the curves of her sides, tracing the red lines ever so gently. The ghostly moves made the singer bite her lip ever so slightly, running a hand through her hair she let's out a ragged breath. One day.

Wearing ripped at the knee black jeans she pulls on a white tee before shrugging on her leather jacket, grabbing her wallet before going to collect Rachel.

"Hey, Bug! You ready?" The singer hollers through the house, expecting the girl has some kind of music playing and can't hear her so well. But instead Rachel pops her head out of the door way besides Shelby, giving the women an almost heart attack. "Sh-Sugar, you're going to be the death of me.."

Grinning from ear to ear Rachel slips all the way to just besides her sister. "Sorry, not my fault you're old." Rachel cheeks. Knowing she's trod the line a little too far, she decides to keep a foot behind her, an easy escape if she needs it.

"Ohhh, so I take you out and you're callin' me old?" Shelby raises her brow, giving the young girl the family glare. "Fine, I guess i'm too old to take you to the theatre.." Shelby shrugs, sliding her arm out of her jacket as she turns away.

The small diva stand in shock, mouth open ajar as she tries to think up a way out of this. Letting out a scoff, the small brunette puts a hand on her hip. "I was only joking, you're not **old**. Just _older_ than me and did I mention beautiful?" The girl flutters her eyelashes, showing off her set of pearly whites.

Shelby turns back to the girl, rolling her eyes before giving her a tap on the behind. "Nice save. Now get your butt moving or we're going to be late."

No more than 10 minutes later they were curled up in a small coffee shop, each cradling their own hot drink as Rachel rolled on about her favourite idol.

"Did you know that Barbra was almost the First Lady of Canada, as she was dating Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau in 1969, but turned down his proposal to marry her?"

"I did know that actually. I'm not as old as you think I am, Rach." Shelby winked, causing Rachel to splutter some of her drink, only making Shelby belt out a laugh. The older brunette is almost in tears until she looks up to see Rachel, thumb stuck in her mouth as her chin wobbles, the obvious signs of an almost Rachel Berry melt down. Muttering some form of a curse under her breath, the singer puts down her mug, shuttling over to the little girl she wraps a single arm around her body, pulling her close, the mug long discarded. "Shhh, i'm sorry, I was only joking, Rach. Shh, Shh, baby." Rachel pulls the thumb from her mouth, instead throwing her arms around her sister's waist. She'd always seemed warmth, physical contact was always Rachel's favourite, like being tucked into bed, morning forehead kisses and simple actions like getting her hair brushed were always her favourite, Shelby smiles at the memories. She remembers even before Rachel was born... _No_.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you. Okay?" Shelby asked gently, tucking the girls long hair out of her face to get a better look at her expressions. Rachel's head picks up from Shelby's chest, nodding warily. "You wanna get a head start and go to the theatre now? It's starting to snow pretty badly any way." The small brunette looks up and nods again. Shelby sighs gently, pressing a kiss to the girl's crown they shrug back on their coats, scarfs and mittens, walking hand in hand out of the coffee shop.

The streets are dark, dancing in their own shadows as the wind rallies up the loose litter on the ground, freezing it to the pavements. But the lights are bright and the noise is even more blinding. Just as New York should be. The second the two brunettes walk to the doors of the door man notices the elder, smiling brightly and quickly spiralling up a conversation, letting them both in too defrost a little. They are personally walked to their seats before anyone else and are given complimentary drinks, a glass of wine for Shelby and a very fitting glass of apple juice for Rachel.

The performance is, as Rachel puts it, awesome. All the kids are phenomenal, they all are perfectly on beat and put up quite the show. Mrs Wormwood scares Rach a little bit, but to the end she just ends up laughing her little socks off. They have ice-cream at the interval and by the end Rachel is fighting sleep, her eyes flutter and her feet a dragging against the carpet floor. Shelby takes pity on the girl, scooping her up and hailing a cab back home. The mini diva is completely zonked by the time they reach the house, her head against the singers shoulder and her legs dangling. Shelby skilfully unlocks the front door, stepping inside as quietly as possible, doing a quick sweep for her mother, she finds no sign of life, thinking perhaps she'd packed in for an early night.

Toeing off her shoes she carries the little girl to her room, gently taking her coat, scarf and mitten off, knowing the soft cotton dress and leggings will be fine to sleep in for tonight. She places a kiss to the girls forehead before silently closing the door behind her. Shelby dances to the kitchen, hanging up all accessories along the way before switching on the kettle and getting out a mug. Humming a soft tune, the eldest brunette leans against the side.

"Why now?"

Shelby perks up, facing the wall as she closes her eyes against her mother's words. "I don't know what you mean." Shelby bats away, placing a tea bag in her cup and pouring the scalding liquid onto it.

Katherine scoffs almost bitterly. "Shelby I have been your mother for 23 years, don't play me to be the fool."

The singer grips the side, she didn't have the energy for this. Letting out a shaky breath, Shelby turns to face her mother. "I took her out for her birthday, I didn't brainwash her, I didn't loose her on the way here and back, we went for tea then we went to see the show and then we came back. We talked about broadway, Barbra and food. Is that enough information for you?!" Shelby spits, taking advancing steps before she can stop herself.

Katherine narrows her eyes, tilting her chin defiantly. "What's going on with you?" The blonde asks, her head falling to the side as she admires her daughter. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"Second thoughts?! Jesus Christ, i've been having second thoughts for 9 goddamn years. The mo-.. the moment she was born, I-I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was 15 years old, Mom. What was I suppose to do?!"

"You were suppose to give her a good life and you have, and you will continue to do so, do you here me?" Katherine growls, grasping her daughter's arm, making the singer look at her. Shelby takes one look at her mother and nods, a single and slow action, causing tears to barrel down her cheeks. "Good." The blonde finishes, walking from the room and leaving her daughter to go over the whole argument. And she does, Shelby goes over her mother's words, letting out a weeping sob.

 _One day._


	2. But there's always a way out

**Well hi guys! I can't believe the reaction i got from that first chapter! You all are amazing and i can't thank you enough! I wrote that chapter in a day so i'm so so so sorry for any mistakes D: You lot are so awesome i had to upload sooner than next week xD I'll stop talking now but i truly hope you enjoy xD**

 **Oh oh before i go, please don't make Katherine the bad guy yet, she kinda is but kinda not.. Gee, just don't jump the gun guys xD**

She'd been through this routine time and time again, twisting and curling upon herself, her eyes a battered and sour red as tears streaked her face. Teeth sinking into her lower lip as she battled the drowning sounds. The ice glaze over her eye's was the heavy sign of her exhaustion. She was a fool and a coward.

 _"What you smilin' at? What are you smilin' at, sweet girl?" The teen coed to the tiny infant, the nails of her hand coming to swirl at the child's stomach, making the small girl blow a spit bubble in delight. The shine in the pairs eyes was so strong, it was almost sickly. Sickly sweet, Shelby reminds herself. At 6 months old Rachel was the very typical healthy, happy baby, showing her mother very clearly that she had inherited the same lungs, the same appetite as well the the uncanny stubbornness. 'A_ _ **diva**_ _thing', Shelby had commented._

 _"The van is all packed, they said they'd meet us there, maybe the next day at the very latest." Katherine interrupts the mother and child's silent conversation. "We have to get going." The blonde insists, picking up the baby pink carseat, looking over at her daughter and new granddaughter, seeing her interruption hadn't caused either of them to stir from their positions. "_ _ **Now**_ _, Shelby."_

 _Rolling her eyes into the back of her head, Shelby lets out a heavy breath, smoothing a maternal hand over her daughter's lock of hair. The teen knew that this was only the beginning. A beginning that had to happen, with her willing or not. Shelby didn't have the means to look after her daughter, no job would pay her well enough to buy all the necessary needs her daughter demanded, her age was her limit. She had caused such an out roar over giving the baby girl away that her mother had backed down from her post and offered up a new plan. A plan that turned Shelby's ears up. Her mother had offered to care for the girl, pay all the bills and even shelter them both, yet the thorn in the bush had been illuminated when Katherine had offered to raise Rachel as her own. To become Rachel's mother. At 15, the offer seemed to be like a little bite of Christmas. She got to see her little girl everyday, she got to offer the hand in raising Rachel as well as basking in all the glory._

Awakened from the haunted memories, Shelby awoke with the mix of sweat and tears rushing down her face, staining her satin skin. The singer was hunched over her knees, her bones shaking as she tried her best to stop her heart from skipping. Running a soaked palm through her hair, the brunette couldn't help the whimper escape the imprisonment of her teeth. The rise of the sun sent gentle kisses over her exposed shoulders, a silent reassurance in her own self torment.

* * *

Rachel's party was in full swing when Shelby had stopped battling with herself and had grown a pair big enough to walk downstairs. The kid's seemed to be having a blast with their treasure hunt, darting around the house to try and find the next clue. Rachel of course was glued to Santana, the girl's hand in hand as their princess dresses tried to catch up with them.

The girl's had not always been so peaceful and even to this date it was a relief to see them playing nicely. There had been a point where Santana was the main cause of Rachel coming home in tears, but all had changed when Shelby took the girl's shopping one day, where quite by magic they had bonded over fashion and their favourite colour, pink. The road was still rocky but now when a fight brew between to two, it was easily fixed with the 'kiss and make up' method.

" 'Suce me!" Rachel giggled as she swooped between her sister's legs, Santana laughing equally as loudly followed next, making Shelby growl playfully as she tickled each girl's sides before they ran off.

Shaking her head, 'kids' Shelby mused, eerily walking into the kitchen to fetch the first bite of food for the day, trying her hardest to go unnoticed by her mother or any of her friends, Shelby grabbed an apple from the side before turning on her feet. Yet her actions were short lived when she was pulled off to the side by a slim hand. Coming stomach to stomach with the tall blonde Shelby couldn't help but sigh in relief, almost collapsing in her best friends arms. "Oh god, Cass. You scared me shitless." The singer muttered into Cassandra's wooly throw-on.

Cass cackled softly, locking her arms behind her friends back in a graceful hug. "Why so on end, Shelbs? You look like shit." The dancer laughed at her own words, releasing the brunette from her hold so she could get a better look at the person before her.

Shelby bowed her head ever so slightly, her jaw going slack so she could answer but everything seemed intwined to her tongue, a soft sob replaced her words, surprising both herself and Cass.

'Holy balls, this isn't a joke anymore, July' Cassandra scorned herself, taking the fruit from her friends hand and pulling them both into the larder. When Cassandra knew no one else could see (because she'd be damned if any of the kids saw her being soft, she'd stand no chance keeping her hard ass appearance up), she let the cracks in Shelby's heart reopen and pour onto her shoulder. The dancer was stood helpless, rubbing soothing circles into the singer's back as she whispered reassurance in her ear.

"It's okay, shhh, it'll all be okay, Shelby. I'm here. It's okay." Cassandra hushed, resting her chin atop Shelby's head.

It had to have been a good 10 minutes until Shelby picked her head up from Cassie's shoulder, wiping furiously at her eyes to rid herself of mascara.

"I-I..." Shelby stops, breathing deeply through her nose and looking up to meet Cassandra's eyes. "I want here back. No,no, I-I-I _need_ her back, Cass."

"Oh shit." The blonde breathes out, had she heard right? Cassandra had been there the day they moved in, the two had been just like Santana and Rachel, fought viciously until they found their passion Broadway and promised best friends from that day on.

"She needs to know, Cass. I-I want..." The singer almost chokes on her words, you could practically hear Shelby's heart break as her emotion forced it's way past the brick wall she'd concreted for all these years. As Cassie took the brunette's hands within hers she could feel Shelby's erratic pulse, the shake to the woman's bones was not only worrying but indicated the sheer fact Shelby was going into a panic attack.

"Shelby, Shelby sweetheart, you need to look at me. You need to slow down your breathing, in and out. Good girl." The dancer instructed, nodding her head as she encouraged Shelby's actions. "I kinda need you alive if we're going to do this."

Shelby nodded, the same small motion she had given her mother the day before, an almost sign of defeat.

"Ow! Jesus Christ, woman! Why heck would you hit me?! I think you wanted my f-" Shelby cut her off with another slap to the arm, a grin larger than her face brightened up the dim look she had started to get within her eyes. Shelby led her hand on Cassie's shoulder, staring the woman head on. She didn't think she'd survive if the blonde was joking.

"You"ll- You'll help me?" Shelby breathed out, her eye's searching for any sign Cassandra might have been giving off.

"Yes I'll help you, you moron." The woman growled gently as she rubbed circles on her arm. Do you forget that we have been friends for most, if not all of that little girl's life? Do you not remember the nights, the _months_ you stayed with me because you couldn't cope? Because I sure as hell do. For the love of Mary, my mother still had holes in her walls where you got to angry and upset."

The brunette quirked the corners of her lips, mumbling a soft 'Sorry'.

Cassie couldn't help but shake her head ever so slightly, blonde hair falling in-front of her face. "And what about the first Hanukkah after you moved?"

* * *

 _Shelby sat curled on the couch, practically drowned in a woollen blanket as she nursed a rather tired and crabby Rachel. Rachel had not only been a premature baby but a sickly baby, so doctors had urged the young mother to feed past the 6-month weaning stage and the baby girl hadn't objected a bit. It gave Shelby an extra excuse to be the mother she wasn't going to fully get to be as well as letting her marvel in awe of the life she'd created._

 _She was knocked from her thoughts ever so slightly when the little girl reached up to pat the side of her face, not harshly but in the softest of ways either so instead of pushing the hand away the mother took hold of her daughter's fingers, kissing each very gently before laying a firmer kiss to the palm of the girl's hand. Rachel hummed ever so slightly against her mother's chest, closing her eye's with a soft flutter before passing out completely. Laughing softly at her little girl, Shelby covered herself up, careful not to wake the little girl before swiping her finger over the corner of her daughter's lips where some milk had gathered._

 _"You can't keep doing this, you know that don't you?" Katherine interrupted, her voice raising at every word._

 _Shelby jumped at the sound, a hand jumping to her mouth to silence any sound, making Rachel groan in her sleep. The brunette's brows furrowed in a frown. "What on earth do you mean? The doctors said-"_

 _"I know what they said Shelby. But she's nearing a year old. Soon her memories will start to stick with her and quite frankly, I don't want you in them." The older woman's words were broken as she ended, her eye's darting to the floor as she pursed her lips._

 _"I-I don't understand, are you asking me to, to leave?" Surely, surely that wasn't the case,_ _ **why**_ _would that be the case._

 _"For the time being, yes. But don't worry I got your application to NYADA back and they're offering you a place. You're talented, my darling. I can't have you stuck here, wasting away."_

 _Shelby couldn't help but scoff, disgusted. "Oh, so that's all what Rachel is? I'm so glad i'm putting her into great hands."_

 _Blinking slowly, Katherine let out a calm breathe. "I'm not asking you, i'm telling you that you're going. I'm doing what a mother should, offering the best to her child."_

 _This wasn't reality. This_ _ **couldn't**_ _be reality._

 _Breaking her eye contact with her mother, Shelby picked up her daughter, cradling her to her chest as she scurried from the room, making her way to the girl's room she tucked the girl within her bedsheets, tearfully kissing the girl's forehead before rushing out. Her head hurt, her chest ached and her ears were ringing. She couldn't do this. Not now._

 _Slamming the door behind her, Shelby practically sprinted from sight, with no coat and no decent shoes one the cold soon took it's punches at the brunette. But the young mother knew the house she had fallen on, practically knocking the door down, Shelby screamed praises at the door. It opened with a heavy creak, making Shelby fall into the ever awaiting arms of Vivian. The elder blonde was the perfect mould to her daughter. Yet Vivian's touch was the motherly comfort Shelby didn't know she was craving._

 _The young brunette stayed within the walls of that house for a little over 4 months, it took a further 6 months for Cassandra to convince Katherine to let Shelby see Rachel. Life had been different after that._

* * *

"Happy birthday, to you, happy birthday, to you, happy birthday to Rachel. Happy birthday to you!" Shelby's velvet like tone sung through the house as she carried to cake to the table where the 8 to 9 year olds sat. Placing the cake in-front of the little girl, Shelby took the liberty to whisper inside her ear, "Make a wish, babe."

Squeezing her eyes closed Rachel thought hard before taking a gulp of air and blowing the candles out.

Cheers and applause filled the room as did laughter and happy chatting a moment after. Cake was handed out and Shelby backed off to the corner of the room, smiling sadly. She'd avoided her mother all day and if her mother sticking to the other end of the room was anything to go by, she was too. Cass had offered a day out after Rachel's birthday for Christmas shopping as well as to go over a plan.

Thank god for best friends.

Thank god for her little girl.

 **So, I hope this chapter was not too short and I hope there aren't too many spelling errors, English isn't my first language but it has been my language for 8 years so you'd hope I wasn't too bad xD**

 **Anyway, thank you again for all your reviews and kind words, i will hopefully see you next week 3**


	3. Moon River

_"Tell me, are you happy Shelby?"_

 _Her jaw twitched at the question, eye's falling very slowly to the corner of her eye. It looked for a moment that the brunette was going to break down, but in the very opposite of that, she curled the corners of her mouth, eye's falling shut as she let out a hum._

 _"No. No i'm not." She nodded, staring blankly in-front of her before turning her face to look the man dead in the eye. "But here's to the day that i might be."_

 _She laughed on last time, a slow and guttural sound before she lifted her drink, pressing the rim of the glass to her front teeth before letting the liquid burn her throat. **Happiness wasn't something she was searching for.**_

* * *

 **8 years ago to date**

"I don't think you're understanding me, I **can't** have her now. It's to fucking early..." A tired and groggy Shelby grit out from behind her teeth, grasping the sides of the hospital bed as she begged to any god out there to bless her with some goddamn powerful drugs.

"Sweetie, it's perfectly normal for young mothers to go into labour early. Your daughter will be just fine at this stage and i'm afraid we've tried all the drugs to stop you from progressing but now there's nothing more we can do." An elderly African-American women soothed the young blonde, the woman's plump stature somehow adding to the soothing process. "Look, up here." The women prompted, rubbing a hand on the girl's lower back as she tapped her finger at the glass of the monitor. "That is one healthy heart beat if I ever so one. She's perfect, dear." The woman smiled, she'd seen many a more young mother's deliver but no matter their age the nerves still embedded themselves into their veins and stubbornly refused to be removed. Gloria watched as the girl before her took a deep, sedating breath, smiling gratefully at the nurse.

"I know...Thank you, ma'am." The brunette nodded her head, swaying her hips gently as another contraction crept up her spine, tightening the muscles in Shelby's lower body and refusing to let go until the moment was over. Shelby bit at the inside of her mouth, enough to draw blood as she let out a guttural moan of discomfort, drawing her mouth into a grimace.

"Come here, darlin' " Gloria hummed, gently grasping Shelby's hands and moving them so the girl could grasp at the bed sheets, bring her head to lie against her forearms as she gently swirling her hands in a soothing motion, helping the woman sway her hips to ease the pain.

The teen muffled a whimper as she tucked her head up and into her chest, taking a deep breathe as the pain flushed over her, leaving her exhausted and weak.

"Is there anyone you want me to call? I heard your Mama's gunna be here any moment, but you don't want anyone else?" The woman asked, extracting a hair tie from her wrist and sweeping back Shelby's mass of hair that had started to matt around her face.

"No. No it's okay." Was the instant reply. Gloria pushed past the bite to the girl's voice, nodding her head solemnly as she walked to sit on one of the chair. She was off her shift in a couple for a lunch break, but the God himself would be the only person who could move her now. Shelby looked up from her position leant across the bed, fluffing up the pillow's Shelby lowered the bed so she could clamber onto it. She spent a good couple of minutes tossing around, fluffing the pillows, taking the blanket off then draping it back over herself, on her back and then on either of her sides before breaking into frustrated tears.

The nurse watched on with a gentle smile at the girl's dramatics, this poor thing had no idea. Reaching over to the bed, Gloria hummed the tune once again, fluffing the pillows back up before tugging at the girl's hospital gown, silently ordering her to lie down, Shelby did so, gratefully. Gloria could practically hear the purr as Shelby settled onto her side, eye's closed as she faced the woman, a hand coming to run over her taunt belly.

 _"Moon River, wider than a mile,_

 _I'm crossing you in style some day._

 _Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,_

 _wherever you're going I'm going your way._

 _Two drifters off to see the world._

 _There's such a lot of world to see._

 _We're after the same rainbow's end- waiting 'round the bend, my huckleberry friend,_

 _Moon River and me."_

Gloria sang, her steady voice soothing Shelby into a gentle sleep, the girl's flushed cheeks pressing against the plush bed as Gloria ran her palm over the girl's head.

"Thank you." The teen murmured, wincing slightly as the little girl in her womb pressed her feet to Shelby's ribs, electing a chuckle from her mother.

* * *

"Why can't you just be happy with what I have given you?! Goddamn it Shelby." Katherine almost screams at her daughter, thanking the gods above that Rachel is over at a friends. "Why, for once in your life, can't you see that I have given my heart up for your happiness _so many times_." The elder forces, her words punching every syllable as she waves her arms in motion, bringing her palms over her heart as she looks into the eye's of her daughter. Eyes that have long pasted Shelby's actual age.

Shelby takes a moment, her mothers words seep through her skin, itching as they irritate her veins. "You're a mother. I didn't ask you too, you offered. And as a mother, it is your job. As I hear so often and in _your_ very words, "a mother's job is to make her children happy". So, _Mother_ , i'm so very sorry to inform you, that i'm not happy because you have **_failed_** at your job."

 **Failed.** The very word made Katherine's face fall. Time seemed almost in her grasp as it slowed around her head, hearing the words fall from her daughter's lips, knocked the ground from beneath her. Her own flesh and blood. The daughter she'd carried for nine months and 4 days, the daughter she had fed, nurtured and loved, the daughter who she'd comforted when knees were scraped, when hearts were broken and when the early darkness got to much. Her **daughter.** She had failed her.

"I-I..." The words held her in a trance, shaking her head in a motion of such shear sadness that the walls broke. She wiped furiously at the seeping wetness that had gathered on her cheeks.

"You, you failed me, Ma." The young brunette suddenly, before her very eyes, turned into the little girl, dressed in a pleated skirt and her fathers Iron maiden shirt, looking every bit like a gypsy child, an illusion Katherine found she never wanted to escape from. "And you know what? It's too late to change anything now." Shelby sobbed, viciously pointing her finger at her mother, taking a step forward as she bit at her cracked lips.

"No...No..Shelby...Baby.." Shelby shakes her head violently, her mother's words are like an infection in her ear. Stepping back until her back crashes into the door, her shoulders shake against the door as the hollow of her throat gasps for breath, sweat and tears starting to coat her body. The mother cannot help but weep for her daughter, how long had she been to ignorant as to turn a blind eye to this all? To her own daughter.

The young brunette let's her head hang between her knees, hands scrunched in her hair as she practically drowns herself in her disarray. Her daughter had been leading this war for too long, a war that had sailed seas so rough, it would bring any other person begging, a war that had seen many and possibly to many sunsets. A war so powerful that it had forged a hole in it's very vessel.

"Sweetheart..." Katherine tried once more, but Shelby almost at the instant sound started to growl her annoyance, shaking her head as she ground her teeth together. "I don't know what you want me to say..." The blonde's voice was no louder than the gentle hush of the wind against the window panes outside. Katherine broke the growing silence with a soft chuckle. "Your father would know exactly what to say.."

Shelby slowly, her hair falling thickly around her face as she levelled her eyes, blood shot and ringed with black directly at her mother. "Don't you dare bring his name into this." She snarled, lip curling ever so gently before she scampered to her feet, billowing out of the front room and out the door, leaving Katherine in a crumpled mess on the floor. The mother sighed through her nose, wiping at her face to rid herself of any evidence before standing and reaching the front door, just in time to see her daughter disappear out of view.

Closing the door with a silence prayer, the elder rest her head agains the solid door, deciding to tidy the place up before Rachel got home.

* * *

Keeping her mouth in the crook of her elbow, Shelby muffled her retching sobs, hiccuping so violently that it sent a pang of pain to her head. The singer fumbled with her key's, anger blinding her sight as she shoved it into the door, kicking the bottom of the heavy oak before kicking it once again, closing it behind her. She rid herself of her shoes, tripping over some other pair in her dash to reach the upper floors, anger and the heavy dull in her heart leading to frustration.

Cassandra July had her bones jump from her skin as she heard the sound of the front door being slammed shut. Drawing her brow's together in confusion she set aside her papers, her natural sense made her fists clench and her eye's narrow.

"How dare she..How..." Shelby weeped, closing the door of Cassandra's room, her knuckles pressed into the wood as she let her head rest against the cold surface.

Cass let out a gentle sigh, running a hand over her features before taking a stand to her feet and walking over to her best friend, sliding her hands around the woman's waist, resting her chin on the brunettes shoulder, hushing her softly.

No words were needed, no words meant no tears. Cassandra knew Shelby well enough to know that there was nothing she hated more than feeling weak. A trait Shelby's mother had implanted within the brunette at such an early age, Cass closed her eye's against the thought, she couldn't let her anger get the better of her, not now anyway.

"Shhh, you're here now. You're safe." The dancer hushed, pulling away just enough to spin her friend within her arms, gathering the brunette up and placing her within the satin sheets of the bed. It was only then that Cassie could survey the damage. Physically, Shelby's eyes were blood shot and sore, her usually peach lips were cracked, with blood drying in the edge, her hair was limp and darker than it's usual chocolate shade. Emotionally, no more damage could be done at this far stretched stage.

The blonde crawled on her knees before curling into her friend, arms encircling the other as she held onto Shelby's shaking form, every now and again ushering soft words, sealed and promised with a kiss to the singer's exposed shoulder. They would talk. Later.

* * *

"Bye Quinn!" Rachel bellowed as she hopped from her best friends car, her glossed pink backpack slung over one shoulder as she slammed the door.

"Bye Rachie! Happy Birthday!" Quinn yelled back, loud enough to earn herself a tap on the leg and a glare from her mother.

Rachel chuckled under her breath, sticking her tongue out to her friend before pulling up her socks and walking into her house. "Mommy! I'm homeeee! _Finally_."

Katherine composed herself gracefully, sucking in a breath before appearing into the hallway to give her little girl the traditional kiss on the cheek. "Hello birthday princess and tell me, how was your day?" Katherine asked, propping up the girl's shoes and jacket, an infamous show smile plastered on her face.

"It was perfect, did I tell you that Quinn has a dog? He's super duper cute. I mean, he not only does tricks but he also sleeps in their room! Like a real like teddy bear. But for obvious reason having a dog in your room is not good for your health but i mean..." Rachel blurted out, it was a miracle the girl caught a breath between her words. "He's cute." She beamed up at her mother, bouncing on her feet slightly.

Katherine nodded, chuckling ever so slightly at her girl's fanatics. "Mmm, so it was a good day with the Fabrays?" Rachel nodded around a face full of melon, putting her finger up to pause the conversation.

"They also have a pool." She added, juice dripping down her chin and landing on the sequin dress, making Katherine wince.

"I'm sure they do..." She older woman nodded, handing Rachel a tissue. After finishing her slice Rachel frowned, tilting her head as if looking for something.

"Where's Shelby? I have to tell her about something!" Rachel asked, hopping off her stool to go and head up stairs for her sister.

"She went out. I think she had to collect something at her apartment, sweetheart."

"Oh." Rachel sighed, tears already pricking her eyes.

Rolling her eyes gently, Katherine put a hand on the girl's back. "I'm sure she'll be back to tuck you in, okay?"

"Yeah...okay."

"Right, Who's up for some Barbra?"

"Holy Streisand! Me! I am! I get to pick!" Rachel squealed, rushing through the kitchen and into the living room.

 _You'd better get here before she goes to sleep, dammit Shelby._ Katherine cursed, trudging off to find the whirlwind she called a daughter.

* * *

 _"Two more pushes, you hear me. I want you to take a deep breath and then give it everything you got, honey." Gloria urged, keeping the young brunettes legs apart as she coached the soon to be mother along. "That's it, good girl. Keep going."_

 _Shelby girt her teeth together, letting out the most blood curdling scream as she forced down, her body in the constant state of contraction. "I can't." The girl cried, you'd have to have had the best hearing in the world to hear the plea. In spite of her words her body forced down, burning her spine and tightening her middle to such an extent that it almost felt as if she was going to pop._

 _"I can see some hair, Momma!" Gloria cried out, smiling up at Shelby as the girl pushed down even harder, finally freeing the babies head. "Look, it's a face and a beauty at that!" The nurse cried, helping the young mother to see her child's head._

 _"She'd beautiful, Shelly." Katherine muttered, her first words of the night, entwining her daughters hands in her own and squeezing._

 _"Ha...Oh my god..." Shelby marvelled, her body breaking up the memorable moment as the young brunette bore down for what she hoped would be the last time, crushing her mother's hand along the way._

 _Suddenly a rippling pain, more painful than before surged her body, making her loose her breath and yell that little louder, truly showing off her soprano voice._

 _"And there.." Gloria stated calmly, gathering up the small bundle of limbs and hair and brushing off the little girl, being rewarded by a scream. "Is your baby."_

 _Shelby had found herself flat on the bed, chest heaving as she tried to regain what little strength she had left, but there, in the moment of flashing lights and beeping and the buzzing, she'd forgotten where she was, singling out a single voice, a cry she had always known. The young mother clambered onto forearms, looking down at the baby between her legs, tiny feet wavering in the air. She let out a single sound, a mixture between a laugh and cry that blossomed from her lips._

 _The brunette found an ache in her heart, she needed to hold her baby girl, even just for a moment. "Can i hold her?" Shelby asked, eye's dancing from her daughter to the nurse, seeing Gloria hesitate, Shelby was quick to say, "Even just for a second. I understand she needs to go to the NICU. I understand she's little."_

 _Gloria sighed, she couldn't resist that first moment between mother and daughter, she could't deny the look within the mother's eyes. "You're right, she is very little, but you did well kid. Congratulations." The woman spoke, placing the bundle of blankets into the teen's arms._

 _Shelby let out a sob, a hand coming to trace her daughter's hairline, her nose, her rosebud lips that parted ever so slightly. She was alert but no longer squealing. Shelby couldn't help but see that Rachel's eyes were caught on the light, it made Shelby laugh, **already in the spotlight**._

 _She was perfect._

 _Her baby girl, she'd waited nine months (well almost, it seemed her daughter was nearly as impatient as her mother) for this, to hold her little girl within the wall of her arms. All her promises, the hushed words she had spoken to the bundle in her arms all crashed into this moment._ _  
_

 _"I promise." Shelby murmured, pressing her lips to the baby's forehead, relishing in the smell._

 _Completely oblivious to the moment and eager to tackle her first task, Rachel began to root at the brunette's chest, grunting and squealing slightly._

 _Without a thought, Shelby slipped her gown off one shoulder, she quickly_ _readjusted herself, feeling tiny lips part for something only she could offer. Shelby had a purpose of protection and nurturance. She was dependent on her mother, and Shelby pledged that she wouldn't let her down._

* * *

Shelby crept into the house at a little past midnight, toeing off her shoes before making her way to her room. She chucked down her bag before ripping the layered gear she had put on to battle the weather outside. She slipped on her pj's, gracefully sliding into bed. In the pitch black of her room she had failed to notice the lump in her bed, Shelby let out a small squeak of surprise only to awaken Rachel.

"Shelby?" Rachel murmured, making Shelby's heart clench.

"Shhh, baby, go back to sleep. You scared me, i'm sorry."

"Sing to me?"

"Always.." Shelby soothed, spooning the little girl, relishing in the baby like warmth, Rachel still carried.

 _"Moon River,_

 _wider than a mile,_

 _I'm crossing you in style some day._

 _Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,_

 _wherever you're going I'm going your way._

 _Two drifters off to see the world._

 _There's such a lot of world to see._

 _We're after the same rainbow's end- waiting 'round the bend, my huckleberry friend,_

 _Moon River and me."_

* * *

 **Well hi ya'll!**

 **I hope this wasn't to rushed at the end and i hope this was a bigger chapter for you all. I promise the characters listed will make a bigger dent in this story soon, if not next chapter. I love you all and your review are like my food! I run on them guys so please keep them coming! (I'm sorry about mistakes it's currently 3 in the morning :P )**


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